Mend My Heart, Make Me Whole
by silently-believing
Summary: Season 6 AU. The news of Lucas and Peyton's engagement is out, and Brooke can't shake the feeling that she might have made the biggest mistake of her life in pushing the man she loves away. While she struggles to confront her feelings, Jamie entrusts Lucas' help in finding Brooke a new boyfriend. Can the two make her whole again? Or will she let Lucas in, and break all over again?


AN : Hey guys! So this is my first multi-chap fic, so please, please READ AND REVIEW.

**There is no way in hell I own One Tree Hill. I wouldn't be writing Brucas fanfiction if I did.**

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_"Sometimes, the only soul that can mend a broken heart is the one that broke it. For they are the ones holding all the pieces." - __Patti Roberts_

She stood on the stoop for a good five minutes, just staring at the door in front of her. She was restless, as if she knew this was a bad idea. Brooke Davis finally took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

She began to nibble on her immaculate manicure, wondering if she should just turn away. Her friend had enough to deal with. But before Brooke could contemplate it any further, a very disheveled Haley James-Scott opened the door. "Brooke?" she muttered sleepily, "Jesus! It's 6 in the morning on a Sunday!". "I know. I'm really sorry Hales – ". Haley's face softened as she looked Brooke over. "Honey, are you ok? " "I'm not very sure." Brooke replied honestly. "Well don't just stand there Come on in, I'll make you coffee." Brooke followed her friend in, closing the door behind her.

The two friends were in the kitchen, sipping the freshly brewed coffee. Brooke kept her eyes on her mug, trying her best not to look Haley in the eye.

"So Tigger. You gonna tell me what's up?"

"Didn't sleep well", Brooke said softly. She gently placed the coffee mug on the counter next to her, and turned to face her friend. "I made a mistake Hales. A big one."

There was something about the way Brookes voice cracked as she got the words out that instantly made Haley worry. "What happened Brooke?"

"I messed up. Really bad." Brooke fought to keep her voice level, she fought to keep the tears from falling.

"Just tell me what happened Brooke, we can fix it."

The brunette shook her head violently. "No we can't." Haley just stared on, waiting for her friend to give her something, anything that could explain this behavior. "Senior year, Hales. I loved him. I loved him and I pushed him away. I messed up."

Haley felt her heart drop. It was about Lucas. She didn't know why Brooke was dredging up the events of their senior year especially so many years after they'd transpired. But what she did know was that this was a big deal. She'd never completely understood the dissolution of Brooke and Lucas' relationship, she was too caught up with her own pregnancy at the time, but even she knew that the break-up was sudden.

Brooke wiped away the tears that were slowly creeping down her face and continued. "I thought it was what I had to do. And I thought, even if I was left with a huge hole in my heart for a while, it would all turn out ok. But sometimes I close my eyes just praying I could go back to that moment, and instead of walking away, I wish I could have just stayed in his arms."

Haley replied cautiously, not sure how to approach this very delicate situation. "Why did you do it Brooke?"

Brooke looked confused. "Do what?"

"Why did you break up with Lucas?"

"I – I… Peyton." Haley sighed. Of course it had been about Peyton.

"She told me she loved him Hales. The night before your wedding, she told me she still had feelings for my boyfriend." Brooke shook her head, as she remembered that fateful night. "I felt like she'd ripped my heart right out of my chest. And my first instinct was to hold on to Lucas as tight as possible. I loved him so much and I was prepared to fight for him. But then I realized that I couldn't compete with Peyton. I never could. And I wouldn't be able to live if he broke my heart again Hales."

"So you broke his instead?" Haley asked, trying to comprehend all this new information that had come up.

"I was wrong Haley. My heart broke all the same."

The two women stood in silence for a few moments, neither sure how to proceed from there. Haley brushed her hand over her friend's, trying to comfort her.

Finally Brooke spoke up. "You know when Peyton's mom died? For a month, she used to cry every night. It broke my heart Haley. And I'd just sit with her on her bed, trying to find the right words to say. But I could never find them. Because really, what can you say? But as I sat there, all I wanted was to see my best friend happy. I promised myself that I'd always try to make her happy. And Lucas made her so happy. He still does."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this Brooke?", Haley whispered.

"They're getting married. Lucas and Peyton are getting married and when I heard, I couldn't even be happy for my best friends. I just felt empty and broken. God I'm so stupid! It's just that after all the time we spent together, and with Angie, I thought...maybe Lucas… maybe he'd…"

Haley looked on sympathetically.

"Honestly, I don't even know what I was hoping for." Brooke chuckled bitterly. "All that time he kept telling me that he was the guy for me. But I didn't need to hear that. I knew that. I just wanted to be the girl for him."

Haley was lost for words. Her heart went out to the girl next to her. The girl who always put everyone else before herself and had been broken so many times in the process. So she just held her as she cried.

"You know he came to see me in New York? The day after Peyton rejected his proposal. We hit the bars, got drunk. He kissed me."

Haley's eyes widened, this was something else she hadn't known. "He asked me to stay with him", Brooke continued "but I told him I couldn't do that to Peyton. But for a moment, for just one tiny fraction of a second, I thought maybe I could be whole again, and that maybe I could have a happy ending. The worst part is, that was the first time in two years that I _felt_ something, you know? I wasn't just numb, and going through life, I actually felt something, I actually wanted something. I haven't felt like that since then either. And I don't think I can Haley. And it scares me so much.

"What do you mean Brooke?", Haley furrowed her eyebrows with concern.

The first time I was with him, I let him in. I brought my walls down in front of a guy for the first time ever. And he broke my heart. But the second time? I didn't just let him in, I gave my heart away Hales. And since we broke up, I've just been walking around with this massive black hole in my chest."

"You deserve to be happy Brooke. Nobody I know deserves it more than you, and I promise you that you will find happiness. But you can't keep beating yourself up over the past. What's done is done."

Brooke nodded, "I know that, I do. But I can't shake off the sick feeling that I made a mistake that there's no coming back from. What if I had one shot at love, and I pushed it away? What do I do Haley?"

Haley enveloped her friend in a huge hug, but for once, tutor-girl didn't have the answer. "I don't know, honey."

For a few moments, the whole house was silent but for the noise of Brooke's soft sobs. Haley was trying her best to say soothing words, but really, what could she say? She felt mad at herself. All this time, through the whole Lindsey scenario, everyone had been so careful of Peyton's feelings. Everyone had just assumed it would be Lucas and Peyton forever. And maybe it would be, but Haley couldn't believe she hadn't considered Brooke's feelings through the whole thing.

The silence was punctuated by the sound of tiny footsteps entering the kitchen.

"Aunt Brooke?" Jaime walked up to his mother and god mother, his tiny eyes filled with confusion. "Momma? Why is Aunt Brooke so sad?"

"I'm not sad sweetie", Brooke said, wiping away tears and putting on a brave face for her godson. "Just lonely."

"Because Angie left?"

"Yes sweetie, because she misses Angie." Haley lovingly ruffled her son's hair, and picked him up. "It's ok Aunt Brooke. We're all here for you. And we love you. Right momma?"

"He's right Brooke. We love you very, very much. And we always will." Haley set Jaime down on the counter next to Brooke so he could wrap his hands around her to give her a tight hug.

"I love you guys too." Brooke whispered.

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_Next chapter : Jamie tries to find his Aunt Brooke a new boyfriend. So he recruits his godfather to help him. Can Lucas help Brooke find the pieces of her heart and put them back together? Or will he just leave her worse off than before?_


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